Thursday, October 23, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
What is it about human nature that seems to require a certain time table on recovery? Why do we think we should be over something or somone in a few months or at most in a year? Do you ever find yourself asking 'Just how long is this recovery thing going to take?'
You may be sailing along feeling pretty much 'OVER IT' when something triggers a memory and there you are, smack dab in the middle of THE OLD PAIN again, seething over the fact that you had to endure such abuse in the first place.
In the last 3 years we have found that the Old Pain does resurface and at random times. There's no way to really head it off (other than choose denial which only delays a crash for later) so the best thing to do is process it as it comes and try not to feel responsible for having to deal with it again. Oh WELL, you need to say, I AM getting better and I am MUCH better off than I was before I emerged from the situation I needed recovery from.
So in other words, embrace your own pace. You are uniquely you. When you factor in every aspect of your life that makes you, you, then you can surrender to the realization you aren't on someone else's path, you are on your own journey.
Thank God the Holy Spirit is here with each of us walking us through to the next steps. The Holy Spirit is here to help us and lead us into all truth.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
They've figured out a way to artfully "question some of the characteristics and practices we see in the church" as it is today posting short videos on subjects such as tithing, pastors, titles, attendance, WWJD, etc.
Here's a part of the blurb under the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) video:
At its heart, it’s about the sayings, slogans, fads, and movements that come and go like Krispy Kremes at a Church potluck. What would Jesus do? What would Jabez pray? What is your ‘best life now,’ or your ‘purpose-driven church/life/tricycle?” At best, these can become cliché attempts to understand and control our life in Christ through catchy words, and at worst, they end up becoming semi-truths that allow us to justify a range of behaviors that may have nothing to do with God.
Oh ya, you can view the Tithing (Donut) Video here: Those donuts are NOT for you!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Here's the link in case you missed it above: http://www.robbymac.org/detox/
We're PLEASED AS PUNCH for two reasons:
1) All he said confirms we must be ‘hearing’ right even though lots of church people would beg to differ.
2) We don’t have to reinvent the wheel and write something already written!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
All of what we endured and are now evaluating makes us wonder if there could be a new word to take the place of Christian that would better describe the type of Jesus' follower we are becoming.
The word Christian has had so much bad press over the years because of militant types with their pet agendas as well as the TV evangelists who are either philanderers or using their platform to steal money from the niave among us. To add insult to injury, now abusive pastors and their dutiful enablers are wrecking everything not already destroyed by creating confining controlling environments where people aren't free to make their own decisions like normal mature adults. It's no joke that years of publicized bad behavior has given the name Christian a really bad rap. What's worse, this is really damaging to the name of Christ who didn't represent any of the insanity these posers represent therefore diminishing the opportunity to reach the disenchanted with the joy and power of the Gospel.
I mean, can we say "I am a 'Insert New Name Here', formerly a Christian" kind of like FedEx Office is saying "FedEx/Kinkos is Now FedEx/Office" ?
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
This post mainly speaks of where we are in relation to church stuff 3 years after leaving the old one. We are finding that we are still not ready to jump in and help out at the good church yet, which is sometimes disconcerting, and we are evaluating our reasons for that.
Each one of us who have left the former church could write a book on what occurred there, and needless to say old habits needs to be redone. Our entire way of life needs to be transformed. One of the old habits is attending church just because it's expected of us as Christians, although this is an obligation common to Christians everywhere. We're now learning to listen to the Holy Spirit and only go when it's in our spirits to go which may seem weird to those who haven't endured the teaching that attending church on Sunday is tied to the depth of one's spirituality. Hopefully in re-doing this, we will establish a more healthy habit of approaching the Lord whether in prayer or in attending church. The bleak alternative is to be like robotrons reporting for duty. If we were machines it'd be different, but 'last time we checked' we are still human.
Unfortunately, we have the rhetoric memorized about why we are supposed to force ourselves to do stuff when our hearts are not in it -- how it's dying to self and becoming more like Christ out of sacrifice. Although dying to self is one of the principals of a Spirit-led life, at Cult Church it was twisted and used to subtley control us especially when we began to ignore red flags and allowed the leadership to cross our boundaries. Why did the leaders have no problem with crossing our boundaries?? Equally as important, why did we let them?
Obligation was one of the Church's greatest tools in getting people to attend all the meetings about doing all the work. Even if individuals weren't well suited for the job, we were taught to teach them to ignore their inner misgivings and call it dying to self. If that aroused feelings of frustration or anger it meant he/she wasn't dead enough yet. I guess that's one way to delegate all the work dreamed up by leaders with endless ideas.
Obligation was also a great tool for generating tithes and offerings: Teach people every week in a 15-min sermonette before the offering to give in faith especially directing it at those who have money, but also reminding the ones who had a 'widow's mite' how they should give all they have to the church, -- I mean, to the Lord. Dying to self for the greater good of the church was essential --you were decreasing and Christ was increasing--or at least, the church itself was increasing. Or was that the senior Pastor's Family Lifestyle that was increasing?? Maybe they should have just implemented mandatory tithe like the Mormons and be done with it. It'd save them alot of preachy energy expended.
The more reticent of us are not getting involved in our new church yet because of all the crap we endured at the Controlling Church and because we couldn't bear to go through it again. We've decided it's best for now to 'hide behind the pillars'! We have no desire to be seen or heard by leaders. In fact, we tend to go the other way if we see them.
Yet, we aren't waiting for perfect forgiveness to jump back in either. We do understand that God uses us even while on the mend. But, could it be that we aren't designed to be inside the church and so we shouldn't gage our health on whether we want to help out at church or not. Perhaps we will find our path of 'ministry' (or let's just call it 'helping others') outside the church walls. If we use our energy for what we aren't supposed to do, there won't be energy left to do what we are to do.
Truth to tell, there are a lot of people like us out there -- we've been reading books and blogs and there are entire communities of us with similar disorders as a result of spiritual abuse . A lot of what we are reading indicates that, for the most part, these people still love Jesus but can't stomach the church any longer (even the good ones like ours) and that's mainly because there are religious Christians lurking in churches ready to pounce, even if the pastor and staff are cool and discerning.