tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post8650641117913307521..comments2023-10-20T02:07:03.075-06:00Comments on DeTox Church Group: House of Cards. . .NoJokehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13689804617836257708noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post-76263862419240650522010-08-28T07:58:20.575-06:002010-08-28T07:58:20.575-06:00Kelly, I always find it amazing how abusive people...Kelly, I always find it amazing how abusive people can act like everything is fine - apparently they think it is! <br /><br />Honesty is the healthy way and don't you think it's a process coming to terms with the dilusion we were in and then staying honest so we don't return to it?<br /> <br />We still have contact, though very limited, with a few couples who are still in the old church. We can't figure out why they still enable the acute dysfunction there. But they don't see it as enabling. The Lord will have to reveal it to them and probably the only way will be through an avenue of pain. After all pain is what opened all of our eyes. <br /><br />Ya, Pain will knock the dillusional thinking right out of you! Ha! It was no fun, but I'm thankful now. I can at last sit at the feet of Jesus in my right mind.NoJokehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13689804617836257708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post-56131838103081614082010-08-27T11:44:53.277-06:002010-08-27T11:44:53.277-06:00I can really relate to this. Recently I was walki...I can really relate to this. Recently I was walking w/my daughter at a Bible camp and we came upon 2 couples from our old, abusive church, one man who became the pastor after bullying the real pastor out and another studying to enter the ministry. I felt sick. Like I had been kicked in the stomach. Then came the smiles and greetings and even...egad...hugs. It was awful. There has never been any acknowledgment of the abuse and trauma that we went through. I was confused about how I am supposed to act in these situations. In the service afterward, in prayer, I realized that I needed to be real, and if real meant traumatized, then so be it. <br /><br />I think another thing that has been so painful is knowing that others in the church, who know about the abuse and who the abusers are, and who claim to be close friends, embrace the abusers and even vote them repeatedly into leadership roles in order to keep peace in the church. Maybe they think they can handle the sin and abuse of the leaders. So, the pastor loves to gossip. We just won't tell him anything. Problem solved, right? Wrong, because by putting him into a place of leadership, they are giving the impression to the rest of the church, the new believers, wounded souls, etc, that he can be trusted with their deepest secrets. They put a banner over the doorthat says "Our church can be your home" on it, and then place someone who cannot be trusted with the people in leadership. I've had people who have been hurt by this man say to me, but how could he? He's a pastor? Yup. I don't get it either.<br /><br />I am praying for healing, and I know God has a plan, not just for me but for the church. Learning to be honest about the pain is a step in the journey. Thank you, God, and thanks for a great blog entry!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17670578232813960093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post-92233073561852948792009-01-24T18:56:00.000-07:002009-01-24T18:56:00.000-07:00This post says everything I have been thinking abo...This post says everything I have been thinking about for the last week- I am going to post it (with full credit to you and links back to your site, of course) so my family can read it.<BR/>If you feel uncomfortable with this- just let me know and I will remove it.The Cult Next Doorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282235021347524688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post-29347745965911179462009-01-23T18:31:00.000-07:002009-01-23T18:31:00.000-07:00This is one of the hardest parts of journeying out...This is one of the hardest parts of journeying out of spiritual abuse- knowing that the abusers are fat and flourishing in their abuse.The Cult Next Doorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282235021347524688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post-38276771202006596702008-11-02T07:41:00.000-07:002008-11-02T07:41:00.000-07:00I have truly enjoyed your blog!I have truly enjoyed your blog!John Edwardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17258686884162714100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post-57796371030668346512008-10-26T00:38:00.000-06:002008-10-26T00:38:00.000-06:00A real job - indeed vindication for you TH! I feel...A real job - indeed vindication for you TH! I feel for you, since our first pastor at our first church ended up in audultery and it's quite the shocker dealing with the fallout. <BR/><BR/>A real job for our latest former pastor and his entire family--hmmmm I can't even imagine that! but that WOULD be rich for us to see since one of our main complaints back then is that they never showed respect for anyone else's schedule, scheduling a host of meetings throughout the year for us all to rearrange our schedules for. Those in the working world can't drop everything for a week of planning and strategy meetings, to be followed by renewal meetings to be followed by the latest greatest charisma celeb coming to town. They were SO into meetings, I don't think I can ever suffer through a meeting of that nature ever again because of them, but I guess that's a good thing all in all! They LIVED for those meetings and they were great for them since it was building THEIR dream, but the rest of us had other obligations like family and work which involved our own host of meetings etc and maybe needed a little R and R in the evenings and on the weekends instead! Ya, let them get a taste of THE real world.<BR/><BR/>Let the whole house of cards fall. Last time I checked, a wise man builds his house on the rock, according to Jesus!NoJokehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13689804617836257708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3169731035319485318.post-83950395600546415342008-10-25T15:12:00.000-06:002008-10-25T15:12:00.000-06:00You have touched on a few things I also experience...You have touched on a few things I also experienced. When I left my old abusive church, it was in the process of self-destructing. Some of its leaders had treated me quite badly and refused to apologize even as our church was coming apart, and I was angry with them for several months. Even now I would not let any of them into my house if they were at the front door.<BR/><BR/>There were also corrupt deputy leaders who had been sent out by our head honcho to start church plants, who continued to lead these churches after our head honcho was outed for adultery. I used to fume about some of these leaders as well. But over the five years since I left that church, other things have mercifully intervened to take my mind off of these men. And now with the economic crisis, being the leader of a religious empire (especially a tiny one) is not such a secure source of income after all. God may be forcing them to get a real job.TH in SoChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00483293929968668475noreply@blogger.com